Dear Lily,

I want you to know that I and your mommy think about you all the time. We don't just think about the complications you may have or the limited time we may have to spend with you. We think about what you are here to teach us. You see, I believe that every experience in life is there to help you learn something. Things don't happen just to teach you a lesson; that's not it. It is just that every experience in our lives has the capability to make us better people. I want you to let those experiences in, no matter how difficult, and try to find the silver lining (that's an expression for making the best of a bad situation). No one wants to suffer (we already talked about that). But it happens. If there is any truth that you can count on, it's that life is not fair. Do not let anyone convince you that it is or will be. All we can do is let our experiences galvanize us -- make us stronger people. If we do, then we suffer less and less because of our experiences. Learn from your mistakes. I will never be angry with you for making a mistake. If you repeat the mistake, though, you will be causing yourself to suffer. Don't do that! There will be enough in life to cause you pain. Don't add to it. One of my favorite people in history is Thomas Edison. He said, "I never failed, I just found 9,999 ways that didn't work." He learned from his mistakes, and he was a genius. So, if you're like every other child I know, don't listen to me. Listen to the genius.

I love you to the moon and back again,

Daddy

Dear Lily,

Your mommy told me today that you either want to take part in missions or you want us to. She said you didn't stop kicking the entire time those people were speaking today. Well, I was thinking about you and our future together then too. You see, I'm afraid. I admit it to you now. I may seem big and scary sometimes, but I can get scared too. I know that I and your mommy will love you even more than we already do once you are here. I know that without any doubt in my heart. What scares me is that we will let the little things keep us from getting sad or frustrated. We worry about how we will be able to take care of you, how we will make sure all the bills get paid, and how we will get what we need to stay strong enough to give you what you need. None of these things are for you to worry about. You just worry about getting into our arms, ok? Just know that we are working hard and thinking hard about how to handle any situation you could give us. Know that we will do whatever it takes to make sure you and your brother and sisters have everything you need.

And that is what I was thinking about today during the mission presentation. I saw the little faces of the children who have been basically orphaned by parents who are in prison, and I thought two things -- I will never leave you alone to suffer like those children have and that suffering (in a different way) has made these children happier people. The kind of suffering I am referring to is sacrifice. I think that when you do without something you want (notice I said want), you are better off. So, while I will make sure you have everything you need, and even though you may not like it, I will not give you or your siblings everything you want. It's not because I don't love you -- just the opposite. Because I love you so much, you will learn how to sacrifice and do without. I want you to be as happy as you can be. I imagine your smile every time I close my eyes, and I want to see it as much as possible. I will teach you how to really experience joy. It's not even that hard, though I wonder how many people find joy. The secret is in the simple things. Rely on experiences and people, not possessions. If you do this, you will be happy, I promise. And daddy's never lie.

I love your face,

Daddy

Dear Lily,

You have been a little active one these past few days. You know, the doctors said that you would not be very active inside mommy's belly. I say, you be whoever you want to be. Don't ever let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. There is a saying that I like. "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." I want you to be the kind of girl who always thinks she can. If you fail, that's ok. No one will be angry with you. In fact, we will be proud of you for trying so hard. So, you keep fighting, ok? You keep kicking me in my sleep, and I'll keep praying for you and sending you happy thoughts. Deal?

All my love,

Daddy

Dear Lily,

This is your daddy. I realize that I may never be able to have these conversations with you in person, let alone as an adult, so I wanted to share them with you now. First, always first, know that I love you more than you will ever know. I have not even seen your smile, and you already have the power to take me to my knees. Your mom and I will do everything we can to make sure you have a chance to make it; but don't feel badly if you are not strong enough. We understand. It is not your fault.

I was talking to your sister online tonight about the lessons I have learned in my life. I am trying to help her make it through the transition from child to adult. I realized that I will most likely never have this opportunity with you, so I decided to write you a couple of letters. I hope you will listen with an open heart and mind. Again, know that I love you and that if there were anything I could do to save you, I would. I would gladly give my life for yours. I have wished for this exactly. I can only hope that you will find peace. The only peace I can have is knowing that God will be holding your hand when I cannot.

Love always,

Your Daddy