How have you been? I still feel you kicking almost every night, but when I try to feel you with my hand, I can't seem to find you. I got to take a "sneak peek" at you yesterday at the doctor's office. Everyone is taking such a keen interest in you. I guess that's a good thing, huh? You look like your older brother in the ultrasound photos. I try to imagine you chasing him around, swinging on a swing set, or spinning around in the grass until you fall down. Then I get sad, because I know that I will not get to see these things. There are lots of things that I will not get to experience with you. I just hope that we will get to play and dance and sing when I get to meet you in heaven. In a discussion recently I heard someone say (maybe it was your mommy) that by letting you go, we are putting you in good hands -- safe hands. There will be no pain or tubes attached to your body or drugs to keep you calm. I imagine walking hand in hand with you through a park in heaven. You have long, think curly blond hair and you are wearing a larger version of the outfit your sister bought you. We are laughing and joking. It is a beautiful day. That feels nice. I hope I have to wait a while to have this experience with you. There is a lot I still want to do here. But know that I look forward to the day when we can walk and talk. If you beat me to heaven, start picking out a spot for our walks, ok?
I love you like the ocean loves the moon.
Daddy
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